Mr Potato head
by Ceata88
Summary: Something's gone wrong in the Akatsuki hide out and weird things are happening to everyone. Just what is going on? One shot of randomness because I drink to much Orange juice and it messes up my mind. Random crack story. I don't own Naruto. T for language


**A/N: This was made to be pure crack. XD I have a sick mind okay? The characters are probably going to be OOC, but I'll try and stick to their character somewhat. Enjoy, I guess. D**

Hidan growled as he tapped the pen against the desk. He couldn't believe Kakuzu had asked _him_ to take care of the finances while he work on, other things. Hidan didn't know the first thing about working with money. Kakuzu had said he would have asked Pein, but the leader was busy working on some new jutsu. Hidan cursed under his breath for at least the ninetieth time this afternoon. He had barley gotten anywhere on the paper filled with numbers. He finally let out a roar of frustration as he threw the pencil down on the desk. He pulled out his scythe, preparing to cut the paper in half, but stopped. He might as well leave it for someone else, not loose it and have to do it over. Hidan walked out of the room, still cursing under his breath.

Before he could walk any farther there was an odd flash in his eyes. He blinked a few times, figuring that his mind was messing with his senses for staring at that paper to long. He shook his head as he started to walk again. As he walked down the hall to the main room his foot scraped against the floor. Hidan started to curse again, but was interrupted this time.

"Did you notice yet Hidan?" Hidan heard Zetsu's voice. Hidan turned, ready to cuss the plant boy out, but got nowhere. Instead of Zetsu's normal fly trap a tree suddenly rose up out of the ground. It has two yellow eyes in the center of it and its roots appeared to move around.

"Zetsu?" Hidan tried to get identification of the odd tree. The tree sighed, making its branches shake.

"Yes, it's me." Hidan continued to stare in shock. "Don't look at me like that! You should have a good look in the mirror before you go commenting on me." Hidan would have raised an eyebrow, except he noticed he didn't have eyebrows 

anymore. He quickly sped off to the nearest bathroom. He turned toward the mirror as he turned on the light and gasped.

His head was a potato.

He didn't know how to explain it. It was a potato with two eyes, a mouth, a nose, and two ears, nothing else. Now that he thought about it he _could_ smell the scent of potato's and garden soil. He started to curse out load in the bathroom and when he finally stopped he noticed that some lady was standing at the door.

"Who the hell are you and what are you doing in here?!" He shouted at her. The girl blinked, looking down with a blush on her face.

"Uhh...Hidan? It's me, Kakuzu." Hidan said nothing. "I'm not sure what happened but something is happening to everyone around here."

"So _you_ of all people turned into a fucking super model? How the hell does that work?" Kakuzu shrugged.

"How should I know? I even got stuck in a bikini." The girl frowned as she pulled at the thin red straps. "Everyone else has gathered in the meeting room. You better come along and see for yourself. Also, did you get all that counting done?" Hidan didn't answer Kakuzu's question as he rushed out of the bathroom. Just what _was_ going on? Hidan finally opened the doors to see a bunch of strange sites. Where to begin...

Kisame was over near the back. His normal blue skin was now covered in a thick dark blue coat of fur. His face was practically hidden behind all of it, and to be honest he didn't look very comfortable.

Itachi was standing close to him, his body, including his akatsuki cloak, were made of pure steel. Normally Hidan would think this was a useful change but Itachi could barely move his limps and his cloak was seriously pulling him down.

Zetsu of course was still a tree. Deidara looked absolutely fine. And Tobi and Sasori were nowhere to be found. Hidan made his way over to Deidara.

"Hey, don't tell me you got lucky damn it!" He growled at the blond. Deidara turned to him and opened his mouth. But all that came out of it were barks, howls, meows, and hisses. Hidan blinked, now knowing Deidara's problem. The bigger problem was that Deidara thought he was talking normal English and didn't understand why no one else could understand him.

"Try writing it down Deidara." The tree, or Zetsu, answered. "**It might work better than your blabbering mouth.**" Apparently Zetsu's split personality was in fact still intact. Hidan thought it was gone when he transformed. Deidara immediately pulled out a sheet of paper and began to write quickly on the sheet. When he was done he handed it to Hidan. Hidan could do nothing but stare, it read:

_Woof, woof, BARK! Woof woof woof Hiss meow meow meeeeeeooooooowww hiss growl. BARK!_

To be honest Hidan didn't understand a single word of it. He handed put it in front of Zetsu's eyes.

"Sorry, I don't speak animal either. Maybe Tobi can help." A small snail with a bright orange shell crawled out on one of Zetsu's branches.

"_That's_ Tobi?" Hidan indicated to the snail. Deidara was now barking and growling with rage as he stomped around.

"Hi Hidan!" The snail spoke. It was defiantly Tobi.

"Do you think you can read dog and cat speak Tobi?" Zetsu asked, his branch shaking.

"I'll give it a try Zetsu-san! I can't promise anything!" Hidan held the paper in front of the snail. "Hehehe, Deidara's handwriting looks funny." Hidan rolled his eyes as he muttered more cursing. This was so stupid. "Deidara-senpai wants to know why we can't understand him." The snail squeaked.

"It's because you sound like a damn dog!" Hidan said to the hissing Deidara. "And you're hissing like a fucking cat! Just shut the hell up will you?" Deidara started growling and hissing while pointing at Hidan. Hidan wasn't in the mood for more translation talk as he walked over to where Kisame was, only to bump into someone. He was about to shout "Get the fuck out of my way" but there was no one there.

"Sorry about that Hidan." Sasori's voice sounded. "You can't see me. I turned invisible apparently." Hidan rolled his eyes. At least he could be thankful that Tobi wasn't invisible. Hidan walked around where he thought Sasori was and continued his way over to Kisame.

"How's it feel to be a mammal?" Hidan mocked.

"Shut up Mr. Potato Head. You have nothing to talk about, no one in here really does. Although to be honest I think Kakuzu has the worst of it." Kakuzu was away from the groups at the door way constantly adjusting the bikini.

"Are you sure about that Kisame? I'm getting pretty pissed about not being able to move." Itachi said crossly from his spot on the floor. Apparently the chairs must not hold him up well enough.

"Yes well, at least you don't look like big foot with all this itchy and hot fur!" Kisame started to scratch his neck roughly.

"Sorry guys, it appears I made a mistake with that jutsu I was testing." Everyone turned to see the leader, Pein, standing at the door way. He ran his eyes over everyone, his eyebrows high on his head. Finally his eyes moved over to his side where Kakuzu was. Hidan swore if the leader wasn't so naturally calm then he would have jumped out of his cloak, that's what his expression was doing. He then blinked as he tore his eyes away and back on the rest of the crowd. "I can assure you guys I'm working on a way to fix this. After all, we can't do any missions with you guys in this state." His eyes specifically fell on Tobi, Zetsu, and Kakuzu again. With that being said he turned around and started to walk off. Then he stopped walking. There was a loud knock and he stepped back, rubbing his head.

"Ow, Pein! Watch where you're going!" Pein's voice said, confusing all the members. When Hidan could see Konan her face was bright red and her mouth had simply fallen open.

"K-Konan? What the heck just happened?" Konan's hands flew up to her head as the words escaped her mouth. Then Hidan guessed it. Konan and Pein had switched bodies.

"You caused this I'm guessing?"

"Yes but I'm getting to work on fixing it now."

"Oh no you don't! Since you did this to me you are going to take that shower I needed!" Hidan swore if Pein's face (in Konan's body) turned any redder it would simply explode.

"You can't be serious Konan! I have to fix this whole mess, and then you can wash your own hair!" Before Konan (in Pein's body) could protest Pein went running off. Konan let out a growl before turning around and looking at everyone. She had the biggest look of disgust when she saw Kakuzu, but said nothing. Hidan let out a long sigh. He prayed to Jashin that Pein could fix the problem soon.

--

"I thought I told you to finish this damn counting!" Kakuzu, now back to normal, shouted at Hidan.

"And I thought I told you that I suck with fucking money! I got bored halfway through okay! Get the hell over it!" Things were back to normal at the akatsuki hideout. It took Kisame a few minutes to get used to not having his fluffy fur as well as Itachi getting rid of all the weight. Deidara was relieved that everyone could understand him again and Kakuzu was extra glad because when Deidara got bored he started to take pictures. He had gotten everyone and now had the prints hidden somewhere, simply waiting to use them for blackmail. That or he planned on sending Kakuzu's pictures for the latest issue of Icha Icha Paradise.

However, the leader didn't get off easily with this incident. No one exactly knew what Konan did to him but his face wouldn't go back to its normal color for what seemed days. Everyone was now more terrified of Konan now then they ever were.

**A/N: Um, ya, I really don't know... I don't even think it's as funny as I thought it would be, oh well. Tell me what you think, and if I need to cut back on something that might be causing this weird reaction to my brain. **


End file.
